She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
