is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
