I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
