Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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