he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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