Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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