I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
