Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
