ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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