This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
