You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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