question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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