I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
These tits shall not be calmed
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
