i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
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Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
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there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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