all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize