I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
whose ass print is on the piano?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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