his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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