Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
