I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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