one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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