The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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