i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
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I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
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Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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