Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I just had sex on a roof
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
