Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize
