What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
