I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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