He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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