i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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