my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
My vagina just clenched in fear
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
