We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize
