Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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