Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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