ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
