I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Even the bartender felt bad for me
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
