you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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