your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Randomize
