You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
