Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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