He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
