the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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