Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
