..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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