They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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