My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
