So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
