They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
