brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
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