East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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