his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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