Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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