just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
