She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
