we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
