so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
