i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
This is the high leading the old right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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