how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
