i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
