so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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