It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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