areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
