Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
