rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
