...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Randomize
