I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
