Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Randomize
