Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Randomize
