I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
